24th December, 2018
Central, Hong Kong
Travelling in Admiralty on a Monday morning may be an unforgettable experience to visitors. The metro stations are filled with middle class workers, who are risking a $1500 fine for having their breakfast. This station is where Hong Kong Island is connected to the rest of the city. We could hear the people mumbling in a foreign language, and the Chinese lady who shouts at their child. The ridiculous amount of people in the station makes everyone sweat as if they were chasing a missed bus. Packed like sardines, people inhale one another’s breath.
Disgusting.
We can see the greyish sky, paired with the smell of polluted air. Despite the smoggy atmosphere, the golden rays of the sunrise still shone through the thick clouds to reflect off the glass skyscrapers. The pedestrian crossing light turns green, hundreds of people cross the roads that was once filled with cars. There is almost no airflow at all. Dozens of buildings tall as the sky trap the toxic air. In the little gaps between buildings, we can smell the scent of coffee from the busy cafe’s trying to serve the impatient customers.
However, with daylight fading away, another rush hour begins. The buildings once full of people were emptied.
Christmas lighting on the gigantic buildings were turned on, creating a stationary light show. People who were dressed up in business suits wore Christmas costumes and dinner dresses. Scent of coffee is now replaced with turkey, cream of mushroom soup and other dishes you’ll see on a family Christmas dinner.
Community groups mixed with children and young adults would sing Christmas carols and give out blankets and food to the homelessness and wish them Merry Christmas.
Full of pubs, a street called Lan Kwai Fong lighten up by traditional neon lights that reflect off the rain water mixed with spilled beer. People with different backgrounds, cultures and races were all having a blast. Group of friends split among the pub, meeting new friends and partners.
This is what I call home, the pearl of the east.
There are some nice moments in here, Welton.
Make sure:
– you CREATIVELY DESCRIBE Hong Kong. You’re creating a narrative – which the task doesn’t ask for. Work through all the sights, sounds, tastes, etc to bring your scene to life.
– keep working on developing your figurative language
– be aware of your English – so singular vs plural uses, tense changes – all the things that affect meaning.
Today’s feedback:
– make the change in ‘then’ and ‘now’ evident
– keep using creative features (similes, metaphors, personification) to describe the scene
– consider what you see, hear, smell, can taste and feel in the scene – describe these.